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Easing into Dirty Talk
One of the biggest hurdles to talking dirty is confusion. What does your partner want? What is going too far, and what isn’t going far enough? How do you even know that he will embrace your naughty vixen at all? If he’s dropped hints or talked dirty to you in bed, you’ve got a clue that he wants you to get a little raunchier. But for the beginner who isn’t sure where to go from here, the whole idea of dirty talk can be intimidating.
Start out slow – flirt! Show your lover how much you want to be with him. Slip a sexy note into his briefcase or stick a post-it on the dashboard of the car. Make it short and sweet – “I loved the things you did to me last night” – and let his imagination run wild. Send him an email at some point during the day, telling him something different, a little flirty, but not over-the-top: “I love the way your kisses taste.”
He’s probably going to write back, or somehow engage you to talk more, and you should! Don’t hesitate to get a bit steamier. “I love the way you sound when you do that thing you do,” is a good line that will make him wonder: How do I sound? And what thing, exactly? It will get him thinking about the last time the two of you made love, and that’s what you want him to do. You want him thinking about sex with you, because the more he thinks about it, the more he’s going to want a repeat performance.
When you are in bed, test your dirty talk wings by trying out anything other than words. Talk to him in sighs, moans and groans. Show him what you want by your breathing, and let your body be your guide – take his hand and show him exactly where you want to be touched, and how. Even if you’ve had sex a thousand times, having such an outright showing of desire will make it seem like a whole new game.
When the sighs and moans have gotten your point across, start talking about his body – and yours! Caress his shoulders while you tell him how strong and powerful he feels. Tell him how small you feel when you’re next to him. Do that one little thing that makes him breathless, look him right in the eye, and ask, “How much do you like that, big boy? Do you want more?”
Making him talk to you will guide you to the kind of dirty talk he wants to hear. If he gets raunchy and makes you blush, don’t cower into saying nothing – counter his naughty words with sexy words of your own. Build up the tension until you’re saying things that you would never, ever say in the light of day. If he backs off a bit, you might have shocked him, so go back to the words you know he likes to hear.
On the other hand, if he responds favorably to your hard-core dirty talking, the sky’s the limit!
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