[B]DON'T LOOK AT A NAKED LADY[/B]
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone.
A part of me is getting hard already!





[B]RESEARCH FINDING[/B]
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!





[B]HAPPY MAN[/B]
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy and...
Wife on the cover of "missing persons"





[B]SWIMSUIT[/B]
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.


[B]GOOD AMBITION[/B]
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.





[B]DENTIST[/B]
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful; I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly. "





[B]VIRGIN[/B]
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. Wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "



[B]OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL[/B]75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything and he had forgotten everything.






… and for the football fans
Why Do Women Make Better Goalkeepers?
Cos they can stop 2 balls at one time!






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